Celebrity

I enjoyed the most civilized game of Celebrity last night.

Brian and I hosted a Memorial Day BBQ. A grill magically appeared in our yard a few months ago, so we thought we should put it to use. It would be the first and last time to BBQ in Bed-Stuy, you know, since we’re being forced to move by June 30th and all. In an alternate universe, there are many backyard parties that we are hosting, a bountiful supply of tiki torches, perhaps a garden, but it is not to be for us in this matrix. You know what was at our party though? A puppy!!!

Everyone freaked out about the adorable, two-month old cocker spaniel. Everyone except the three straight dudes. Eric brought up what could be a good possible reason as to why – the puppy represents a baby. Seeing their girlfriends flip out over a baby dog, taps into a straight guys deepest fear – commitment, and nothing says commitment like a brand new baby. I guess gay guys don’t like commitment either, but the closet thing to a physical representation of a baby, in gay terms, would be brand, new Ikea furniture – and I hate Ikea furniture.

The straights left before it was time to play everyone’s favourite parlour game, Celebrity. There is always a spoken tension when talking about this game. Some people try to play by the wrong rules, some stop at nothing to win, others accuse people of cheating even when they are not really cheating. This causes valid concern for anyone about to embark on a Celebrity journey in our circle of friends, especially since that unfortunate night when one well-intentioned fag pulled a football player from the bowl and couldn’t get anyone to guess it. He had a complete breakdown, one team started calling the other ‘Dicktown’, friendships were broken, lives were lost…

Well, it seems that last night, 8 homos were perfectly capable of having a nice game of Celebrity. It helped that Brian was on my team because I am such an awesome player. He knew he would win and wouldn’t have to resort to trying to make us play by some made up rules. Our neighbor played with us too. In the middle of the game, he told us that he recognized our BBQ. It used to be his. He left it on the roof of our building and it fell to the ground during one particularly bad windstorm. Our new BBQ had literally fallen from the sky.

On the last round, Eric had to get his team to guess ‘Edith Piaf’. Eric doing a silent impression of Edith looks like this -