Apartment #9 & #10: 200 Stockholm St.

The Hasid who showed us these apartments seemed a lot nicer and more trustworthy than Evil Zalman. I’m pretty sure it’s because this guy had light blue eyes and a reddish-orange beard. So, I have narrowed down my racism towards Hasids to exclude those who have blue eyes and red beards. He had even heard of Evil Zalman’s reputation. He didn’t know him personally and laughed when I described Evil Zalman as the “one of the most awful human beings I have ever met.” So, I guess Evil Zalman didn’t put our names into a Hasidatabase.

The first apartment was a nice size. Rooms on either end of the apartment. The kitchen and living room were open and comfortable. Laundromat right across the street. It was a nice distance from the L train, which is a main vein to Williamsburg, the East Village, Union Square, Chelsea, and the West Village. The neighborhood is predominantly Puerto Rican, which is much friendlier to me than the black people who shoot cops in Crown Heights. It’s weird. A year ago, I was really skeeved out by Bushwick. I’m not saying it’s amazingly welcoming, but it feels like about a 14% upgrade from other places I have looked. Also, there were a lot of authentic latin restaurants, which I love.

The second apartment up for rent in the same building was the exact same layout – with one exception. It had a window in the living room and kitchen. For this extra feature, you paid an additional $150.00 a month. Really? REALLY? The building had been “gut-renovated”, which to me, means that the owner takes care of the building enough to re-paint, re-tile, and re-construct. I like that.

All in all, I liked it fine, but I feel like gambling a little this week and see what may turn up on rent-direct.com. I’m guessing that these apartments will still be here in a few days.

UPDATED ENTRY

Ever since getting linked by some ultra political activist on a Bushwick blog, my traffic to this blog has increased a million times over. Since all the readers of his blog only read this entry, they have accused me of being racist. I am not racist. I just hate stupid people. Well, I take that back. I am totally racist against Hasids. I’ll give you that, but no one likes them, right? So, that’s OK, right?

Also, people fail to see that this is a comedy blog. There is a lot of sarcasm, flippant comments, and attempts at rich humour. As a bitchy faggot, it is my responsibility to uphold my own subculture’s stereotypes so that you can write me off as just a bitchy faggot. Right? RIGHT?

Here is some actual proof that there are actual black people shooting actual cops in actual Crown Heights. It’s not racism, I just don’t want to live where people shoot coppers. Also, if you watch South Park, they use racist material all the time and it’s HILARIOUS. All hail South Park… not that I’m comparing myself to South Park. See? I was a step ahead of you haters…

here
or
here
or
here

there was more, but I got tired from reading all the violence in C.H.