Will.i.am Vs. Perez Hilton

I’m obsessed with the new Black Eyed Peas Album. I have no idea why. I shouldn’t be. “They just aren’t my genre”, but something about their fresh summer sounds make me feel like I’m at a constant party. There’s a song called ‘One Tribe’ that is my current favorite.

“One Tribe, One Time, One Planet, One Race
It’s all one blood, don’t care about your face
The color of your eye
Or the tone of your skin
Don’t care where you are
Don’t care where you been
….
Cuz man, I’m loving this peace
Man, man I’m loving this peace
Man, man I’m loving this peace
…
One tribe, ya’ll
One tribe, ya’ll
One tribe, ya’ll
We are one people
Let’s cast amnesia, forget about all that evil
Forget about all that evil, that evil that they feed ya
Remember that we’re one people”

I’m 32 and jaded. Hilariously bitter. I honestly try to find the good in everything, even though everything isn’t good. I would be a lot happier if I didn’t believe in happiness. So, when a song catches the spirit of forgiveness and positivity and wraps it up in a dance party – I get excited. It makes me feel like the unattainable is attainable. Will. i. am., the man behind this song, just dampened my summer party. Perez Hilton called him a ‘faggot’ and someone in Will’s posse punched him. Even if it wasn’t Will.i.am. himself, he obviously condones the physicality.

Sure, Perez Hilton is a slug. I don’t love his schtick, even though the American culture created him. He should take a lesson from this beating and eat some humble cake soup. He definitely should not be able to use the word ‘faggot’ at anyone. It is intolerable, and for someone who seeks tolerance for equal civil rights, Perez comes off Superlametown, USA.

Here is my open note to Will.i.am…

Dear Will.i.am.,

I’ll be honest. I’m actually on Perez’s side on this, which I feel is the minority. Verbal violence does not equate physical violence – under any circumstances. End of story. Will, you should take a listen to your own song and learn a lesson yourself. I hate it when I feel like I wanna be positive and then, suddenly, I’m reminded of why the world will never be one, big, dance party. Just makes me sad. Thanks a lot, Will.i.am., for not believing in your own artistic creation. How can I believe, if you can’t back it up?

I guess you “just aren’t my genre”.
I guess you’re just Will.i.was.

Why I’m Glad Kris Allen Won ‘American Idol’

Think of all the momentum that Adam Lambert had built during the ‘American Idol’ competition. Think of the millions of fans that were befuddled when they announced Kris Allen the winner. Now, think of this reality TV show as a political metaphor for gay rights.

Adam Lambert is a no-brainer if you are judging solely upon vocal prowess, but this show isn’t just about who sings the best. The show is about who is most popular, and most importantly, how do you manipulate the wholesome viewers to like you best? We heard all about Danny Gokey’s dead wife until she was beat into the ground like a dead horse. The producers paraded Scott Whatshisname, better known as The Blind Guy, for all to see. Single motherhood was the theme for that one chick who’s name fails me, but I’m too uninterested to google her name. Kris Allen was seen at his family’s house in Arkansas, just having a good, old family time. But what was Adam’s backstory? Can you remember? Nothing.

The best way to deal with an unofficially-out gay artist is by not dealing with it. No mention of your family life. No mention of a boyfriend. No mention of his flamboyant style. Adam’s talent spoke for itself. I don’t blame Adam for not officially coming out. You have to play the system to beat the system.

So, what happened? The bottom line is that Danny Gokey votes flocked to Kris Allen after Danny was eliminated, coming in third. But, if you take a moment and realize that ‘American Idol’ is the number one family show, then it doesn’t take a genius to realize that they are rooting for their squeaky clean Kris Allen. They have the numbers to vote in Kris, but it doesn’t mean he is the best singer. The American Majority isn’t always right, just like the debate on gay marriage.

I am glad Kris Allen won because it will keep the conversation rolling on what is right and what is wrong in regards to gay politics. Adam Lambert will continue to fight for his sure-to-be amazing career, just as gays everywhere will continue to fight for our soon-to-be accepted marriage equality.

In the shocked words of Kris Allen himself, after being announced the winner, “Adam deserves this.” And so does every gay American.

The tides continues to turn…

New Summer Music

I like french fries, wine, and rejecting America’s stance on war, so I’m not surprised that the first of my summer music-loves is from Paris. Phoenix, a band that started in 2000 and latched onto the success of other French groups, like Air and Daft Punk, by remixing the shit out of shit, has come out with a lush and happy album that makes me feel like I am sitting under a tree, enjoying a cool breeze – and a blowjob.

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is the fourth studio album by Phoenix. It is the beginning to, what will soon be, my Summer ‘09 memories. Perfect music for perfect weather.

Check out Phoenix’s great website and be sure to browse through their photocentric blog - http://www.wearephoenix.com

Colby’s Clubhouse!!

I stumbled upon this video today and had a severe flashback to grade school. I went to a private, Christian school and this is what they made us watch.

Fuck Coldplay

First of all, I have no business even having Coldplay on my ipod. I was feeling glum on the E train and thought I would listen to some marketable sadness. I made sure to skip that fucking ‘Fix You’ song because I know that is my kryptonite. Instead, I listened to some newer bullshit. I cried anyway.

Lametown.

I went home and downloaded Flo Rida.

Why Didn’t I Know This Is From A Musical?

I have just been re-introduced to this song. I had forgotten all about it, but upon repeated listening, I realized it was played a lot in my house when I was younger. I am obsessed with it. I don’t even know what the show is all about, although I am pretty sure Elaine Paige’s hair is a central character.

My New Favorite Song… for now

Everything On My Mind Fits Into This Picture

1.) I’m going to New Orleans the day after tomorrow!

2.) The Killers’s new CD is fucking awesome!

3.) Brandon Flowers, the lead singer, is super hot! And gay, right?!

4.) He’s not gay?!

5.) Wait. He’s a mormon and married?!

6.) He must be a closet case. He wore peacock feather shoulder pads on SNL!

7.) I’m still really bummed about Prop 8!

8.) I’m going to New Orleans the day after tomorrow!

I hope I get Mardi Gras beads and make out with Mormons too!

“Untouched” by The Veronicas

Why has it taken over a year for this song to come across my desk? I heart it more than I heart saying “i heart” stuff.

Human or Dancer? An Essay.

Close your eyes
Clear your heart
Cut the cord
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?

Existentialism bores me; its mild snobbery hurts my brain. So, my initial instinct when I first heard The Killers new song, “Human”, was to jump immediately to being “OVER IT!”, especially after they let me down with their second album, Sam’s Town. With this new single, I thought perhaps the Vegas-based frontman, Brandon Flowers, had crashed his crazy train into a Nevada desert and exploded into a rainbow of drugged out imagery.

Then, I found out his lyrics are a tip of the hat to a Hunter S. Thompson quote saying how America is raising a generation of dancers. Drugged out imagery, indeed.

How do we answer this question? Do we even need to answer? At first, I thought the lyrics to be secondary to the amazing sound of the song. My ears like the music, I just didn’t love the lyric. But now, it has me thinking when I listen to it on the bus ride to work every morning. I look in the faces of everyone on the bus, trudging along to our jobs. Sometimes it feels like we are neither human or dancer. A robotic rhythm overtakes us and we forget what the fuck we were doing in the first place.

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance,
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye
Wish me well
You’ve got to let me go

In order to answer this question, one would have to define ‘human’ and ‘dancer’. I believe the meaning of ‘human’ in this lyric is the same as anywhere else. It’s referring to emotions, feelings, and the journey to find ecstacy, which includes strife, flaws, and lessons on the road along the way. ‘Dancer’, I believe, is open to interpretation. People can become metaphorical dancers through life – passionately bouncing and skipping in and out and up and down. We can be carefree dancers, expressing ourselves in a joyful freestyle, or we can be trained dancers who are exacting and purposeful. Neither form of dance is better than the other, it just depends on your personality. Sometimes I dance the waltz. Other times, I’m forced to tango. You have to let go and trust your instincts. Feel the many different types of music. Dancing makes being human more exciting.

Now, I’ve come to the following question – “Aren’t dancers also human?”

I vote yes. Everyone is everything. Humans are dancers and dancers are human. It’s when we forget to dance that we neglect our humanity. Therefore, my official answer to the question, “Are we human or are we dancer?” is – Both. One cannot be without the other. Our soul yearns to “dance”. It is what drives us. The need to create, to have fun, to be happy, to love, to laugh, to everything, to anything is what keeps humans dancing.

Now let’s all fucking dance, because we’re human after all.

PS… I am a boring snob for writing this.

Things I Want Right Now….

I want Obama to win.

I want Sarah Palin to disappear.

I want a new, clean apartment.

I want a million dollars.

I want to lick the guy in the new Britney video .

Girl Talk

I can’t decide if Girl Talk is amazing or if it makes my brain feel like scrambled eggs. I love this video though, made by art students at Concordia University in Montreal.

This song is not on iTunes. Wah.

The Dodos

Here is my new music obsession this minute. They are called The Dodos and I saw them perform in the Lower East Side last night at the Cake Shop (they did not have any cake). Thank God they are available on iTunes (cake is not – wait, that’s not true, the band Cake IS available on iTunes, but not actual cake). The song above is called ‘Fools‘, but my two favorites are ‘Horny Hippies’ and ‘Trades and Tariffs’.

Both of The Dodos are super adorable when they get all sweatty. So, that’s a plus.

Little Jackie

My music obsession of the moment is Little Jackie. This is the first single off their CD called The Stoop. My favorite song on the CD is ‘The Stoop’ because its all about Bed-Stuy (where I just escaped from this month). The female vocalist in Little Jackie is none other than Imani Coppola of the mid-nineties fave, “Legend of a Cowgirl”. I love every song on this CD!!! Great summer sounds!!! Get it!!!