Hmm. Tonight is the final of three presidential debates between McCain and Obama. Tonight is also the season finale of Project Runway. They are on at the same time. Which one do I watch? DECISION 2008!
Thankfully, I have a DVR, so I will be able to see them both, but which one do I watch first? I don’t know which one I care more or less about. Neither can one of my besties, Jeff. We had the following gchat gconvo about our TV choices tonight:
me: who do you think will win? Jeff: runway? me: whatever Jeff: debate? obama
runway? no idea
something tells me leanne me: but what about the architectural beauty of mccain’s designs? Jeff: mccain seems like something we’ve all seen before
not very fashion forward me: do you think kenley has a chance?
she’s a cunt but joe six-pack loves her Jeff: sarah palin is only there for drama
what do you think of korto? me: i hope she wins, but i think she’ll flop Jeff: but i like obama’s use of color
I’ll let the boring, white Leanne win Project Runway tonight over the soulful, black Korto as long as Obama pulls it out in the debate.
I would like to officially say “whatever” to the Olympics. “WHATEVER“.
Sure, I can see an argument made that it’s an event that brings the entire world together… for competition, consumerism, and cocky hot dudes in spandex. However, no amount of tight abdominals will ever trick me into watching sports. Chalk it up to the emotional scarring of being made to play soccer, basketball, and baseball when I was a tiny faggot. I simply do not care to watch the games on TV. Even if there is a lot of hot ass to be seen.
Yesterday’s ice storm had me all a-fluster. I watched the slushy stuff hail down out my window all day while several matters avalanched around me. I was going to go watch ‘Survivor:China‘ with Jeff at Bruce’s house, but decided I didn’t want to trudge through the weather just to be a lump of crabby energy on his sofa. I opted to go home and sulk.
Turns out, a date I went on last week gave me a jingle. He is a great step up from Towel Boy, so my interest has been caught. He is a self-described booze hound and does the Lords work by selling theatre tickets to old ladies in midtown. We drank rum and watched reality TV. Two of my favorite things! We talked about our love for New York and how we love watching black people fight with each other. He made reference to his alcoholic father yelling ‘faggot’ at him at family gatherings. For a second, I thought he was getting ready to leave when he went to get his coat. Instead, he got a cute, little bag out of his pocket and asked if I smoke pot! I told him absolutely not. I only eat pot.
Booze Hound and I listened to my new favorite band of all time (MGMT). He admired all my nutty art on my walls, which is nice. He passed the kissing test (and then some). I woke up this morning with three fucking hickeys. Are you kidding me? It looks like I got punched in the neck. Now I know the post-prom shame of every girl in high school (besides me). Booze Hound seems slightly insane, and since I am functionally insane, I’m sure a third date will be in our future. Why? For awhile, I used to wonder why crazy guys were attracted to me. Then, I realized, that I am attracted to crazy guys so it all works out. Just not TOO crazy.
Go Todd! I hope you win ‘Survivor: China’…but if not you, then Amanda.
I finally caught up with the Real World Sydney this week and feel obligated to do a quick sound off on one of my favorite TV dynasties. Wow. This season is all about the women. Dunbar is boring and not as cute as the girls give him credit for. Cohutta is nothing but a fun accent. I do love Isaac though. I know dudes like him back home. He is great.
I was sad to see Shauvon leave. She was pretty cool. Kelly Anne is alright when she isn’t going boy crazy or letting other people think for herself. Then there is Trisha and Parisa. Classic, bitchy girl fights. “Bitch” – “Cunt” – “Whore” – “Ugly” – “Fat” etc. etc. etc.
Now, I admit, Parisa seems a bit of a tense, cold fish. But, I will admit – I like her! She is a strong girl who has real thoughts and isn’t an invisible carbon copy bimbo who just spits out whatever her parents programmed her to think or say – like that egomaniac Trisha. What a twatty piece of shit. Completely hateable in every way. Fake pretty, close minded, self-centered, and a “good Christian girl”. Barftastical!
Trisha pushed Parisa down after a lame fight about the phone. Now this wasn’t anything near as crazy as my favorite Davis and Tyrie fight from Denver, but it was still pretty great. Trisha’s daddy tells her that she should apologize even though Trisha doesn’t mean it. Trisha rightfully says that would be lying because Trisha has “so much hate in my heart for that girl”. Trisha sucks so much and so do her fucking awful parents who raised such a cookie cutter stereotype of a supposed good Christian girl who in actuality is a two faced piece of plastic crap. It was Parisa’s call on whether or not Trisha was allowed to stay in the house since you are not allowed to use physical force on any of your roommates. Parisa decided that she didn’t want to live with Trisha anymore.
Trisha offered some transparent apologies and when Parisa didn’t go for it, Trisha said some nasty bullshit before she left. All Parisa did was look up from her book she was reading, look her in the eye and said, “Enjoy your flight. Take care.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Screw you Trisha! Parisa is gonna get shit from Kelly Anne and the new girl Ashli (because they don’t have Trisha there to think for them). Stay strong Parisa! I love you! You are awesome!
The best part of all this is that the boys sooo do not care that Trisha is gone. They hated her! HAHAHAHAHA! Trisha, if you ever stumble on this blog, please know that you look like an idiot on TV and no one likes you except for yourself. Go Parisa! I am on Team Parisa!
PS…I hate myself for caring enough about these TV ‘characters’ to even write about them, but I am sick at home on a Friday night. What else am I going to do?
This past Saturday night, the cast of Saturday Night Live performed at Upright Citizen’s Brigade. It was a benefit for the Writer’s Strike and I was lucky enough to contribute my 20 bucks for a ticket. I had to stand outside for an hour and a half, but it was worth freezing balls because I actually got a seat! Usually, I have to stand to watch shows at the theatre, but I was a real, live, paying audience member this time! Let’s just say, AWESOMETOWN!
I forget how theatre doesn’t fully translate to screen. I remember seeing a production of ‘The Imaginary Invalid‘ by Moliere in college on a VHS cassette – turned me off to French farce forever. Maybe that’s why I have never been totally head over heels in love with SNL. I LOVE theatre (you can tell because I spell it with an “tre” instead of a “ter”), but I don’t love theatre on screen. SNL is a staged medium on TV. Sure, I respect their gig, I adore certain performers, but something about it never totally kicks my “love button”. My opinion has officially changed.
I LOVE SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, especially when it is ACTUALLY live!
Michael Cera’s entrance as host for the evening won some of the biggest applause I have ever heard… anywhere. His excitement and playful energy infused the entire night. Amy Poehler was intoxicatingly adorable, as yooz. A super-naughty Weekend Update, which used previously written material deemed ‘too offensive’, was a personal highlight. Two more bests for me were a solid character sketch with Kristen Wiig as a cat lady who dictated the family Holiday Card to her husband in a creepy kitty voice and a brilliantly heightened sketch about a neighborhood sex offender going trick-or-treating in his costume… as a sex offender. I also loved that the writer’s were the one’s holding the cue cards during the show. Great idea and kept me constantly aware of why the fantastic opportunity to see this live show had happened – some corporate D-bags trying to screw the creative community.
PS… I have never actually heard Yo La Tengo, the live musical guest, until Saturday, but their rendition of “Mr. Tough” blew my jizz all over the place. I iTuned the fuck out of them yesterday.
Millions of Americans struggle with GIGS. It’s a serious disease that infects even the best, coolest women in the country. GIGS cannot be cured and there is no scientific research that helps determine where this unfortunate affliction originates.
Girls Interrupting Gays Syndrome, or GIGS, can be diagnosed best while watching television. Watching TV with girls is the most common way to be affected by GIGS. Sometimes GIGS can occur during a particularly unruly evening at karaoke. You can try this experiment out for yourself and is extremely beneficial while conducting home GIGS exams. Gather several gay men over for a television party. Pick a theme such as reality TV night or have an ‘Ugly Betty’ marathon. Usually, women with GIGS will start showing symptoms after the opening credits, sometimes GIGS will incubate until as long as after the first commercial.
Let’s take the show ‘Survivor: China’ for an example. Even if you have never heard of the show before, a reasonable person can infer that the two groups of contestants are teams and that they somehow must ‘survive‘ in ‘China‘. However, those infected with GIGS are not reasonable people. You may encounter the following questions while you are trying to relax and enjoy your favorite program – “Where are they?”, “What are they doing?”, “Why is that girl wearing boots?”, “Do they have to live on an island?”, “Why do they have to live on the island?”, “What do they do for food?”, “Has anyone ever died on this show?”.
Seriously! WHAT. THE. FUCK. STOP. TALKING. I don’t understand how so many women do this to people! YOU ARE RUINING LIVES! Feel free to make funny, witty comments about the program, but usually your questions will be answered if you actually WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW! I only have 45 minutes to spare to chill and watch a TV show and you make it so annoying! Girls everywhere – take heed – please seek professional help for your GIGS!
Towel Boy came over to the new apartment the other day. He “just happened” to be in Williamsburg eating Mexican food. Sounded like a thinly veiled reason to be in my neighborhood so I invited him over. Just as he was arriving, the cable guy arrived. Only, the cable guy was a cable girl and she looked and sounded just like Rosie Perez.
Cable Girl went out back to plug in some stuff. She had to dig through the over grown shrubs in the yard. I was giving Towel Boy the tour of the new apartment while Brian busied himself with painting his room. From Brian’s window, we could see Cable Girl doing a little bouncing dance. I thought maybe she had brought headphones, but she turned around and said she was dancing to ward off the mosqitos. She drilled a hole through Brian’s wall. It was off center by about 6 inches so she had to drill again. Cable Girl looked as if the drill was going to attack her. It’s probably hard to drill and wear three inch press on nails. She also was wearing a tool belt that was larger than her weave…. and her weave was about 8 pounds. When she was setting up the cable box, she asked me if I had any alcohol. Towel Boy and I are total lushes, so we laughed and told her that we had some beer in the fridge. She was like, “Oh no, honey, for the mosquito bites. I meant rubbing alcohol, like alcohol that you rub on yourself.” I didn’t know there was a difference.
After Cable Girl left, Towel Boy and I watched 10 minutes of Life of Ryan on MTV. Do they just give anyone a reality show these days? Geez. Why not me? Anyway, we got bored pretty quick and he asked to see my room again. Which was code for ‘It’s Humping Time’. While breaking the gay sex seal on the new apartment, I received three phone calls. I never answered and after Towel Boy left I checked the messages. It was Brian. He had locked himself outside with the mosquito army for the past 22 minutes…. It was a quickie, OK?
I used to think that song ‘Sex and Candy‘ was pretty spot on when talking about two things that are delicious, but I think I will write an update to the song and call it ‘Sex and Cable’. I had both installed on the same day. Feels like home!
This show has consumed me. I accidentally stayed awake until 2am last night. I really am rooting for Evil Dick and his daughter Danielle to somehow pull this off. They are Orange County trash (in a good way) and I like rooting for my hometown. Jen is an idiot, but I like her on the show. Kail is an idiot and I hate her on the show. Dustin thinks he is playing the game, but the game is just playing him. Amber is the reason I love watching train wrecks. Zach is a fratty douchebag. Jameka cried because God didn’t let her win a competition. Eric is an interesting twist as America’s Player, but he may have fucked himself this week – good riddance. Jessica could skate by to win this thing. I still miss Nick. Bring back Nick!
I know you don’t care about this show. I know you have no idea about these people. But, this is what I am choosing to care about at work today. Also, Daft Punk tonight, bitches!
It has been crazytown stressful trying to read Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. I got the book at midnight this past Friday and over the next two days I had a multitude of people calling, texting and IMing me about where I was in the book. I was always behind them. They were relentless. It’s very hard to speak in code and try not to give anything away. They said I read too slow. I said they read too fast. I tried to explain that I had other things in life to do – like laundry, catch up on my DVR, and continously watch the online live feeds from the Big Brother 8 website.
Buying the 24/7 live internet feeds for this season of Big Brother has been the best 40 bucks I ever spent. You get to watch reality TV unfold before your very eyes in real time! That means you could get an hour long conversation about who can fart the loudest OR you can see a girl fight with her dad, unedited, with so much anger and hostility OR you can watch them sleep OR you can watch my new reality TV boyfriend, Nick, talk about what celebrity guys he would have sex with IF he was gay…not that he is, just IF he was. Here is his adorable confession to his favorite cuddlebuddy in the house…
I have also been obsessed with religious toned hate mail on my blog. A select few of the naughty people at summer camp have discovered my blog and have been reading vigorously. My favorite part of it is when one guy calls me an “ASSHOLE” and in the same breath quotes Bible scipture at me. I have ceased communication with them, since I am soooo over it, but gosh darn, gee whiz, if the whole argument isn’t juicy blog reading! Also, when I started blocking comments, they started sending me hate emails! You just can’t keep religious hypocrites away…isn’t there a spray for that? Like Raid, but for really, really, huge, religious insects and rodents?
I’ve been absent from blogging for a few weeks. I was working on a show I wrote that went up at Upright Citizen’s Brigade a couple nights ago. So my apologies. I am now back in the swing! I wanted something really topical to write about and the past month has given me several options.
First, I wanted to write about the paternity suit and Anna Nicole Smith. Then I was going to comment about how stupid Imus is and how stupid firing him was as well – even though I was totally on the side of the Rutgers athletes. After the tragedy at Virginia Tech, I thought America had fallen into a huge, sad, angry slump. But last night, I found an even deeper hole America has fallen into for me to write about….the beast that has become American Idol.
Last nights results show was a strenuous two hour long voyage from Africa to inner city youth programs to illiterate kids in Alabama. This charity event episode was coming from the right place, I know, but something about it seemed extremely ridiculous. We had every possible celebrity you can imagine. The cast of ‘Friends’, Helen Mirren, Jason Biggs, Miss Piggy, Dr. Phil, Gwenyth Paltrow, Shaquille O’Neill, Kevin Bacon, Madonna, Bono, the guy who plays the doctor on ‘House’, The Blue Man Group (weird), and even Helena Bonham Carter. It looked like someone sent a message to anyone who has ever been on television before saying “Get to a greescreen near you. We have an emergency charity event and every quasi-celebrity MUST be taped lip synching to some crappy 70’s song”.
I admit, some of the images from Simon and Ryan’s trip to visit AIDS victims in Africa made me cry. I also must admit then, that the footage of Paula visiting inbred, toothless kids in Alabama at a reading program made me laugh. Why the juxtaposition? I don’t know. As I watched Josh Groban sing with a chorus of black kids dressed in tribal wear, I wondered out loud if they were actually from Africa. I also wondered how big Paula’s boobs are. Seriously, I wanted to grab a handful and see. I am glad Snow Patrol let AI use that goddamn overplayed ‘Chasing Cars’ song to underscore the rescue of mothers in Africa.
I hope next week, American Idol unifies the country to support ending the war in Iraq, gay rights and stem cell research.
My personal highlight of the evening was when they had Celine Dion and Elvis Prestley sing a duet “live” on the American Idol stage. I didn’t know AI had the power to bring back two of the world’s biggest and best singers from beyond the grave. Wait. What? Celine Dion is not dead? Oh. By the way, this “historic performance” is available to download on iTunes. HAHAHAHAHA.
When they faked EVERYONE out by making us think Jordin had gotten voted off, I threw a stale pita at the TV. Poor Jordin cried harder than Annie Lennox did when they asked her to be on the show. That is so mean! I loved it!
They had to do something to try to keep an audience this season. The contestants are so boring compared to last year. I call Blake and Jordin in the final two with a close call going to Jordin. But Blake’s album will outsell hers. Oh yeah, and if Phil Stacey shoots me an ‘I love you’ sign one more time on camera, I am taking back the 20 bucks I donated last night to help feed nappy-headed hos.
DON’T WATCH THIS CLIP YET! THERE IS A CUE LATER IN THE POST TO TELL YOU WHEN TO WATCH!
Just when I was about to be like, “I’m bored with Denver”, they show the best episode EVER.
Davis and his boyfriend, PJ, are making out in the nude in their room. Brooke is spying on them and is intensely enjoying it. “I’m sick of laying out and grocery shopping, why not watch gay guys get it on?” Brooke giggles and says she is getting horny. Davis and PJ totally play into it telling her that they should have a threesome.
Chris, the slick tongued Outward Bound guru, calls to tell Davis, Stephen and Brooke that they must complete som eextra training at the Colorado Athletic Club since they missed the mountain climbing. They trio is not happy. Colie loves it and basically says “Nanny nanny nanny”. At the training, Brooke constantly complains about her ankle. She is doing a downgraded version of everything the boys have to do. Stephen brings up a good point…”There’s not going to be a Brooke mountain for her to climb. She’s gonna have to climb the same one we are.”
The gang is at a new bar called Hush, which looks like a gay version of Monark. HATE MONARK! Davis is sittign inbetween PJ and Brooke. Brooke and Davis kiss. Davis goes to kiss PJ, but PJ doesn’t have any of it. STOP KISSING GIRLS ALL THE TIME DAIVS! A moment later, the best shot in the world is Brooke playing with er dangling earring while starin ginto space and PJ and Davis totally making out. Brooke then gets up and out of nowhere kisses Tyrie. He says, “What the heck? I don’t care, let’s go”, and they continue to make out. Davis appears to be jealous and leaves the bar with PJ. Brooke got turned on by two guys kissing and ran to Tyrie. Davis wanted female attention even though his boyfriend was there…..these two have serious issues.
Drunk at home, Brooke tells PJ “You come into this world alone, you leave alone. Don’t trust someone to be your everything because they will let you down every time.” PJ looks scared about what Brooke just said.
The next day, Davis takes PJ to the airport. PJ is going to Argentina for school for six months. PJ tells Davis what Brooke said and Davis gets upset. They each declare never-ending gay love for each other and PJ leaves. Davis cries all the way home where he runs into Tyrie. Davis bares his emotions about PJ and how much he is in love with him. “A friend is a friend, black, white, gay, straight” says Tyrie….OK, I’m startign to appriciate Tyrie now.
Davis, Jenna and Colie go to lunch and they all bitch about Brooke. Gossip, gossip, gossip. I love it.
WATCH CLIP AT TOP OF POST NOW!
Wow, great fun, right? So Davis abandons them and vanishes into the mountain. Brooke asks Stephen if they can eat. Subway sandwiches of course! Plug! Brooke and Stephen end up following diseased trees marked in red up to the top of the mountain where they find Davis. They all take a picture together to prove that they were there and go back down the mountain to go clubbing.
At the club, Davis and Brooke are dancing together. They both apologize. Davis clears up the whole thing with her and him and PJ then licks her cleavage. Brooke says, “I know – you’re gay. You are not interested in me, so it doesn’t matter.” She has said this a million times. I think she is still hopeful.
Colie is an idot. Brooke calls her mom to tell her that Colie is an idiot. Alex hooks up with Jenn again because they think Colie is an idiot. The only one who doesn’t think she is an idiot? Her boyfriend Corey (who looks just like Alex) loves her and wants to be with her, but he “let’s her go” to “hook up with whoever” she wants.
PJ & Davis are in the shower alot washing off their gay sex.
Colie – stop being an idiot. I used to like you and now you just look like a crazy girl! You have a sickness! Is it boys? Is it lack of male approval? Is is E. Coli, Colie?
I love that Brooke has inspired more than one girl to re-enact her tense moments. Thank you, Brooke. Than you, Youtube. Thank you, young, impressionable girls everywhere!
We find our drunk friends at a new bar called Rise. It looks exactly like Monark. God, I hate Monark. Alex and Colie have serious drunk faces on tonight. It’s the eve of Corey, Colie’s actual boyfriend, coming to town and Alex and Colie are having a moment. At home, Alex is so hammered that he falls out of bed. He does manage to get up and stumble into Colie’s room for some late night bump and grind and an early morning cuddlefest.
Colie is cleaning the kitchen because her actual boyfriend is coming soon. She is mad that she feels like the only one that cleans the kitchen. Oh please, no one cleans that kitchen. Shut up. Anyway, Colie tells Brooke in a very “I’m not mad, I’m just irritated, but I am letting you know anyway in a passive aggressive way” way that Brooke left macaroni and cheese in the sink. And mustard in the corner. Nevermind the 682 other plates and glasses sitting around. Their exchange becomes very heated, very fast. And very scholarly.
“Stop being a brat.”
“Stop telling me what to do.”
“Just clean it up.”
“I hope you know you are a bitch.”
“I hope you know you are a stuck up brat.”
Brooke waddles upstairs with an unexplicably large cardboard box in hand. Hilarious.
Brett and Kerry are friends of Alex that are visiting. Drunk at Monark, Colie and Brett are having a honesty session about Alex. He tells her that Alex told him that he doesn’t have any feelings for Colie. BRETT – YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Why would you tell her this? Were you trying to hook up with her? You’re lame. Colie runs back to the house to confront Alex. Alex, to the confessional, tells us something about his penis, brain and his heart. They end up fucking.
Colie leaves the next morning to pick up Corey. The gang wants to go to the water park, but no one can drive stick. Since Colie took the automatic, they are stuck. Jenn asks Brooke if she can drive stick. Brooke, in a bratty tone, says “No”, while erratically brushing her hair. The following is the exchnage between Jenn and Brooke.
“You’re a brat.”
“I hope you know that you are a trashy bitch.”
“Thank you for letting me know where I stand.”
“Shut up.”
“Keep talking, bitch.”
“Stop talking to me.”
“Shut up you fucking whore. No one wants to hear your voice!”
Brooke then transformed into an evil, giant, Godzilla-like creature. She stomped. She screamed. Her hair was flying in the air. “IF YOU EVER GODDAMN TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU’LL FUCKING BE SORRY! DON’T YOU DARE EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!” Serious krazy.
“I feel like I am in a house full of crazy people….and they’re making me crazy”, Brooke says through tears. Really? REALLY? Brooke. You. Are. Crazy.
While Brooke cries outside by herself, everyone goes to lunch at Lodo’s. Colie stops at home to drop off Corey’s stuff where he meets Davis and PJ in the bathroom. Both the gays are in towels and nothing else. You can see the outline of Davis’ huge dick. Trust me. I rewound it several times to see. Colie thinks everyone is at the water park so she takes Corey to Lodo’s for lunch where she runs into a drunken Alex, Jenn and Brett. Awkwardville! What could make things more awkward? Jenn and Alex making out in front of Colie while Corey is there. Colie can’t say shit! And they are in a public place! DAMN! Colie leaves to go back to the house and says “What’s up lovebirds” to Jenn and Alex as she exits.
Oh Colie. Get with the program. I sort of like you. But you are just as crazy as Brooke. Just a different flavor of crazy.
Somewhere, Jennifer Hudson just ripped out her weave. This week on American Idol, Lakisha Jones had the audacity to sing “And I’m Telling You” from ‘Dreamgirls’ as her first song on the show. Now, everyone knows that past contestant, Jennifer Hudson, is nominated for this role for an Academy Award. She has already won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress and it seems that she is a shoo-in for an Oscar as well.
While Jennifer Hudson was very good in the movie, I was not instantly won over by her performance. Her face had a subtext of ‘look at me I’m acting AND singing and I am doing pretty well!’ – almost as if she was surprising herself. This opinion has not made me very popular with The Gays, but I hold true to say that great singing does not make great acting…until I saw Lakisha Jones. I would giver her two Oscars for her performance on AI this week.
Lakisha is everything Jennifer Hudson almost can be and more than everything Mandisa wished she ever was. Lakisha has the single working mother thing going on that Fantasia had, but Lakisha would also probably blow Fantasia out of the water too when it comes time to make Lakisha’s Lifetime Movie. (Seriously, Fantasia, how hard is it to act like yourself? That flick was painful – even for Lifetime) Lakisha even had the judges wowed. Randy woofed, “Jennifer Hudson, WHAT??” Paula Abdul gave a REAL standing O. Even Simon couldn’t help but smiling from ear to ear and had to sit back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. He was literally blown away. Amazing. I hope you watched the entire clip of her performance. Check out the looks on the other girls faces too. They are all clapping in slow motion.
Even though I am in love with Blake Lewis (that beatboxer guy), I will vote for Lakisha every week. Forever. Even after the show ends and Jennifer Hudson is polishing her overrated Oscar.
This is Blake’s audition…a little goonie, but very adorable. His dad is adorable too. I love everything Blake as well…he just is totally not going to win.
Any episode of The Real World that starts off with rainbow flags and a gay pride festival is going to be good. This one definately recovered from the previous episodes Snoozefest. Jenn and Colie are flanked on either side of Davis like bodyguards. The threesome attend Denver Gay Pride…..I didn’t know there were enough gays in Colorado to have one! Good for them! This is Davis’ first pride festival ever. After a full day at the festival, Davis says, “I am finally proud to be gay”.
Tyrie answers the door naked for his girlfriend Jazelle. Barf. Jazelle is coming from a lingerie party in her “panty-drawers” so Tyrie let’s his “bits and pieces” fall out. He also apologizes to his grandma for this behavior. Stephen acts a little like a sissy boy bottom as he runs away from a naked Tyrie.
Dressed in colorful pastel polo shirts, Stephen and Davis go to the local Baptist church together. This weirds me out. Stephen says he is happy to go to church with Davis who is “genuinely gay and genuinely Christian”. After church, they have a very interesting conversation. Davis points out how the Bible seems very archaic. He doesn’t understand how people base their beliefs on literal translations from the Bible. For example, “In the Bible it says that it is just as much of a sin for a man to lay with another man as it is for women to pray without a hat covering their head”. Great point Davis, that’s why I don’t even bother trying to make sense of “The Good Book”. Stephen of course has nothing to say to this except that he believes in The Bible and that its not up to him to pass judgment. Blah.
Davis tells Stephen how his mom told him that he was not allowed to set foot into her house anymore since he “is filled with demons”. Davis emailed his brother and sister to tell them why he wasn’t coming home for Easter. His brother wrote back saying that Davis was a disappointment as a brother and that he should be ashamed of himself. He also told Davis that he never wanted to speak to him again. Stephen is taken aback by these actions and judgments…..maybe because it sounds like something Stephen felt before moving in the house with Davis? Hmm.
PJ, Davis’ boyfriend, and Mercii, Stephen’s girlfriend come to town. More dancing at Monarck. Please, for the love of God, stop showing me anything that takes place at this terrible looking club. So lame.
PJ is adorable and has super white teeth. He almost looks exactly like Davis. All-American, southern white boy, frat-like goodness. They would make a very yummy sandwhich. Davis says that he was attracted to PJ “because I always had a crush on myself”. They are totally gay twins.
PJ and Davis go at it in their bedroom. Stephen can’t handle the gay sex because he is “grossed out” by it. Stephen and Mercii have a pillowfight. Davis and PJ take a steamy hot shower together. Afterwards, Stephen, Mercii, PJ and Davis all go out on a double date. Stephen’s big revelation – “I’m sitting there holding Mercii’s hand under the table while PJ and Davis are probably doing the same thing. It’s just a couple thing. They seem happy and like they’re a good couple.”
Hmm. Tonight is the final of three presidential debates between McCain and Obama. Tonight is also the season finale of Project Runway. They are on at the same time. Which one do I watch? DECISION 2008!
Towel Boy
